I have been extremely busy. My Daughter was finally born on January 12th and I cannot tell you what I have gotten done since then. I am constantly paying attention to her, but I love it. She is perfect.
She is currently taking a nap and I decided, why not get on the old blog and type a little. It’s been so long since I have been on here.
I currently am reading a book which some would say I am too old for, but, FUCKIT! I liked the way the excerpt on the back sounded. It’s called Asylum and I am thoroughly obsessed with reading it. I really love ghost stories I suppose, and so far, this one has sucked me in.
It finally occurred to me after putting it down today that reading fuels my writing. When I read for a short period of time, my thoughts sound as if they have been written in a book or something. I hear myself thinking in the form of an authors words. My verbiage makes more sense. It makes me WANT to write something. In fact. I think I will make this a daily habit again.
If you could read a book containing all that has happened and will ever happen in your life, would you? If you chose to read it, you must read it cover to cover.
Absolutely not. I don’t want to know what happens, or when I die, because it would just drive me crazy my whole life. I knew a few days ago that my Horse was going to be put down, because he could not walk, was 25 and had multiple tumors, and I felt as if I was counting down the hours that I had left with him. I feel that if I knew every little detail in my life, it would be the same. I would be counting down the hours, and worry about how much time I have left. There would be no purpose for me to live it, or I would be constantly trying to change it. I also would not want to be reminded of the past. I wouldn’t want to read over those chapters of my life again in which I do not want to repeat. There are many images and feelings I bury deep and do not wish to uncover ever again. I feel that opening that book would only bring a lot of pain. Don’t misunderstand, there are PLENTY of times where I am struggling and I just wish I knew the outcome of something before it actually happened, but honestly, sometimes, I just think its better to NOT know, and figure it out as you go.
Tell me now dear friend, would YOU open that book?