Parking Lot Rage.

Ever since I have had my drivers license, I have gotten anxiety from driving.

Ever since I have had my mustang, I have been an ass hole behind the wheel.

Ever since I have become pregnant, I haven’t been as much of a speeder, but still lose my temper, and my temper is a lot easier to lose these days.

I know that I am not perfect and in fact I do too make mistakes on the road, but as I get older, and talk to my therapist, it has become increasingly evident that the world is full of selfish people. This is why I react the way I do.

I am the ass hole driver who might not let you in if you are going 10 miles below the speed limit, and it is evident that the world is passing you, or my grandmother would. I am the ass hole driver who might scoot around or in front of you because you are slow, and yes, I am late as always. If by chance you end up catching up to me to display your middle finger in frustration, I will usually kindly apologize with my middle finger in return.

Lately, my favorite activity is leaving notes on idiots cars. Yesterday’s note was to a bitchy lady who saw me calmly driving down the isle outside of the grocery store looking for a spot to park. She immediately swung into a spot right before me and then parked crooked so there was no room for me in the spot next to her. While normally, I might have said something rude to her, I simply smiled and continued driving down the isle to the back of the lot. I then had to walk my pregnant ass from the back, which I know isn’t a HUGE deal, but when you are sore and don’t even like the grocery store, it seems like the hardest thing in the world. Her note simply stated “Nice parking job.” She was lucky I didn’t have a milk shake in hand.

Today’s note was inspired by another bitch in a parking lot. This particular bitch in her mini van decided to honk at me for simply putting my car in reverse. I would have ignored it, but long irrational honks tend to irritate me the most.

I had parked crooked and it drives me crazy to just leave it crooked because I am afraid someone will park too close and I will end up with a scratch or ding or not be able to get in. I hadn’t even let go of my brakes yet, because I saw her coming, and knew she was not going to stop. She must have assumed I was just going to pull out and hit her, yet she continued to drive past me without applying her brakes while displaying the longest honk of my life. I then fixed my parking job and proceeded to walk to the pharmacy for my mother, keeping a bitter eye out for where the bitch had parked. After leaving the pharmacy, I walked out to my car still irritated because I saw her with a child after we had made eye contact through a window. I got in my car, drove one lane over and parked next to her van plotting my revenge.

HER note read “Maybe you shouldn’t be SPEEDING through a parking lot with a CHILD in your car. Use your head AND CALM DOWN!”

I left the note under her door handle wide open for her to see on her way back, and went on with my day.

What irritates YOU the most behind the wheel? When was the last time YOU displayed a little of your OWN road rage? Do tell, I love stories. 😉

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Sweet Sixteen

When you were 16, what did you think your life would look like? Does it look like that? Is that a good thing?

At the age of 16 I’m pretty sure all I thought about was getting a car. I drove my mom’s Old 1998 Lifted, (Horse Smelling) Truck. This thing was a beast and I loved it. We romped all over south OC together and had tons of adventures. I wish I still had that truck now. I thought that once I got my own car, life would be so easy. I would be able to go and do whatever I wanted. NOTTTTT. haha As soon as I was able to drive, my dad’s grip got tighter! Sure, I was allowed to drive to my friend’s house and back, but the car had to be in the drive-way by 8. And you KNOW I thought that was a TERRIBLE time to come home, because all of my friends were still out. As I am typing this, and my younger sister is getting closer and closer to 16 by the second, I wonder what her rules will be.

When I was 16, I remember only thinking about being 18 and having freedom and the world at my fingertips. I could only think of what freedoms I didn’t have and others did. I was very concerned with growing up and what I could, and couldn’t do. I was convinced that once I “grew up” Things would just fall into place for me. Well they don’t and I wish I could go back and tell myself to work harder and pay closer attention. I am now 25, and still don’t know which path to choose. Still struggling everyday, but learning. I know that 25 is young, but I can’t help but feel time is now moving faster, and I am almost positive I am running out of it. I feel like I missed my chance to hop on the boat of success like everyone else did. Of course at 16, I didn’t have the slightest idea that I had anxiety or ADD. I am in full belief that had I been able to pay more attention, I would have been somewhere farther in life now. Had I been more concerned with HOW I was going to get a car for MYSELF rather than waiting around for my parents hand me downs and what not, I think I would probably be living in my own apartment today rather than sitting in my boyfriend’s dad’s girlfriend’s house  Garage which I hate.

I was lucky however, and received the most beautiful car of my life on my 18th birthday. I still drive it and to be honest, it teaches me something every day. So, my life didn’t really turn out the way I had planned. Things didn’t really just fall into place once I hit 18. They fell on my face from high up on some shelf, and I simply stood there and let them hit me. But I am figuring which things go on which shelves slowly, and I am figuring out how to keep them from falling on my face again also. So I have come to the conclusion, that its okay to not hop on the success boat right away, sometimes it’s nice to sit back and figure things out on your own. After all, we are basically here to learn.

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When I grow up, I’ll be stable

When I grow up, I’ll turn the tables.

Tell me about YOUR Sweet Sixteen. Did you think you’d be what you are today?

Resolved

Have you ever made a New Year’s Resolution that you kept?

I am pretty sure I have never kept a New Years resolution. In fact, as I grew up, I don’t remember actually setting any resolutions. I think all the way until I turned 18 and graduated high school, I never really took my parents seriously when they would go around asking each person of the family “So what are YOUR New Years Resolusions?” I’m pretty sure that I would give some bullshit answer about how I am going to do SOMETHING meaningless better, and one or both of my parents of course rolled their eyes. I really didn’t give a thought about the fact that maybe I should have a goal to reach once a year at least. I am now 25 and realizing the importance of goals in everyday life. I have always skated by on the bare minimum not giving any thought to the fact that by cheating or not trying, I was not learning. Now I am 25 and panicking.

This Year.  Will be different.

25 Will be my important – non bullshitting – year.  This Year I will set real goals and meet them. This Year I will pay closer attention to my Health. I will ride my bike every week at least once to get my body in shape, and I will eat better. I will love more. I will explore more. I will Live more. This year is a turning point for me. I have been living in the shadows and hiding my true feelings.

Is there anyone out there who HAS kept their New Years Resolutions? tell ME about it, and maybe give me some tips 😉