If you had the opportunity to live a nomadic life, traveling from place to place, would you do it? Do you need a home base? What makes a place “home” to you?
I have lived a nomadic life already. I have always lived out of my mustang, and the trunk has always served a second purpose as my back up wardrobe. I had a bag for my dirties and a box for my cleans. I did laundry at who ever’s house I was staying at at the time. I didn’t get kicked out anywhere, I didn’t leave with any harsh feelings. I plainly could not stand being in my parents castle, on their hill in the middle of no where anymore. Trying to get out of the house seemed impossible because I would get 20 questions about where I was going and who I was going with. At the age of 20. So I did what I had to, grabbed my important shit, and left. My family still holds a grudge against me for it, but I have seen what that hill does first hand. It makes people miserable and rude. I believe that if I hadn’t left when I did and disappeared for a little while, I wouldn’t have had the experiences that I did. I would be miserable and rude. I have spent 3 weeks back on this hill and I am already miserable, and the rudeness has peeked out a few times already.
Have you ever felt that dark “I want to go home” homesick type of feeling? It is sad, but I feel that feeling when I am actually at home. I don’t think that this feeling will go away until my fiancé and I move out to our own home. Now that I am pregnant, all I want is to be left alone and just take care of my fiancé and baby when it comes. I don’t want to deal with everyone else’s noise, or dishes or messes. I want peace and quiet. I carry every bit of stress with me in my shoulders. Every time the door carelessly slams and wakes me up out of my much needed nap, I get angry. It adds a little more tension every single time.
I do feel like I need a home base now. A place to put my important stuff, and a place to run to and relax. A place to make my own, where no one can tell me I can’t. A place to take care of and clean MY way, knowing some 14 year old isn’t going to come along and mess it up, move my stuff out of the way of her stuff or eat everything before I even get a chance to try it.
To me, home is where my fiancé is. My father tells me that he wants me to be happy, take care of my future husband, and my baby now, and to stop worrying about everything else. I am going to try my best, because these things are all I want too.