Sweet Sixteen

When you were 16, what did you think your life would look like? Does it look like that? Is that a good thing?

At the age of 16 I’m pretty sure all I thought about was getting a car. I drove my mom’s Old 1998 Lifted, (Horse Smelling) Truck. This thing was a beast and I loved it. We romped all over south OC together and had tons of adventures. I wish I still had that truck now. I thought that once I got my own car, life would be so easy. I would be able to go and do whatever I wanted. NOTTTTT. haha As soon as I was able to drive, my dad’s grip got tighter! Sure, I was allowed to drive to my friend’s house and back, but the car had to be in the drive-way by 8. And you KNOW I thought that was a TERRIBLE time to come home, because all of my friends were still out. As I am typing this, and my younger sister is getting closer and closer to 16 by the second, I wonder what her rules will be.

When I was 16, I remember only thinking about being 18 and having freedom and the world at my fingertips. I could only think of what freedoms I didn’t have and others did. I was very concerned with growing up and what I could, and couldn’t do. I was convinced that once I “grew up” Things would just fall into place for me. Well they don’t and I wish I could go back and tell myself to work harder and pay closer attention. I am now 25, and still don’t know which path to choose. Still struggling everyday, but learning. I know that 25 is young, but I can’t help but feel time is now moving faster, and I am almost positive I am running out of it. I feel like I missed my chance to hop on the boat of success like everyone else did. Of course at 16, I didn’t have the slightest idea that I had anxiety or ADD. I am in full belief that had I been able to pay more attention, I would have been somewhere farther in life now. Had I been more concerned with HOW I was going to get a car for MYSELF rather than waiting around for my parents hand me downs and what not, I think I would probably be living in my own apartment today rather than sitting in my boyfriend’s dad’s girlfriend’s house  Garage which I hate.

I was lucky however, and received the most beautiful car of my life on my 18th birthday. I still drive it and to be honest, it teaches me something every day. So, my life didn’t really turn out the way I had planned. Things didn’t really just fall into place once I hit 18. They fell on my face from high up on some shelf, and I simply stood there and let them hit me. But I am figuring which things go on which shelves slowly, and I am figuring out how to keep them from falling on my face again also. So I have come to the conclusion, that its okay to not hop on the success boat right away, sometimes it’s nice to sit back and figure things out on your own. After all, we are basically here to learn.

IMG_3686

When I grow up, I’ll be stable

When I grow up, I’ll turn the tables.

Tell me about YOUR Sweet Sixteen. Did you think you’d be what you are today?

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